Crystal Clearwater song meaning and story behind making it.

Memories of it:

Back in 2008, I began to explore the sounds of post-rock and shoegaze. This is one of the early songs that I wrote in that year. The loop you hear in the begining, I remember how it was made, I was working on one of my early albums, a album you have some of you have not heard and is hidden in my archvies, called "Death Smiles and the Angels Fall", a double album, and a sqeurl to my other early album "Vera Dynatime", which some of you have but not all. It just came to me, by accident, the loop meoldy was perhaps the most beauiftul sound I heard and back then, if you knew me, my sound did not sound like it does now. This is somewhat my flagship song. It was nearly a month before Prom and I really wanted to impress a girl with this song, but she never gave me a time a day to even listen to the song. Back then, there was myspace, and bands actually listen to other bands music. There was band from Lompoc, the name I can't recall, but the lead singer/acoustic guitarist, after I recorded it and released on myspace, heard and said it was one of the most beauiftul things he had ever heard.

in 2010, during the time of my depression, this song acutally made me skip a show because it didn't make the timing right and playing, and that was the time that I started to hate real digital delays (digital analog and tape echos are fine for me), becauase I couldn't get the time right, in reality the delay time was too long, and I got super pissed off and just said "Fuck it". I was in a really bad place at that time. But in the same year, a couple months later, I remember my mom's friend and her children came to visit for the first time (right around the time that Frank Black came to SLO, the second time), I striped down my pedalboard and worked my way up and started to use this song as a practice tool. I started to work on the timing and playing better, using my head to think, until it became auto to me.

It still a regular on the setlists today in 2013-14. Also, it one of my favorites to play. When I play a guitar and/or a amp, I use this song to see if it works with the amp or guitar that I am trying out.

Meaning behind the song

Most of the time post rock songs don't have meaning, at least to me, because they are wordless songs, but I have wrote lyrics for this song back in 2012. When I write lyrics, I just write words without realizing what the meaning it out, its basically my sub-consusic writng my words and it isn't until I read them and figure out what it means. Based on the lyrics, its about sudcide by jumping off a edge, more like a hill, and going to the afterlife. The twist is that someone is watching, and is decding to wait to go die naturally or go after that person and be with them in death. Weird idea but I did however posted in my creative wrting class and it was a hit with the old and smart people.